**believe me, this is the edited version**
THINGS THAT HAVE CHANGED IN MY LIFE SINCE I BECAME A MOMMIE:
a list of negatives. I am in a bad mood right now. I am aware of the millions of good things, but i'm in a mood to complain. bear with me.
1. Body is SHOT. Seriously, my skin will never forgive me, and the ladies have plans to retire to the Belly Button Retirement Home
2. Um... well lets just say that fat ladies really aren't in the most "romantic" of moods most of the time.
3. Conversations that are one sided because the other person can't talk yet are now considered normal.
4. EVERYTHING that I do revolves around the little Dictator... when/what I eat or drink, when/if I sleep, and for how long, what I wear, where I go, how I get there, how long I stay, etc.
5. None of my shoes fit. Seriously, I wear my Water Socks from my maternigy water aerobics class to walk/jog because I have no sneakers that fit my now 7.5 feet.. only slip on shoes bought when huge pregnant, and winter shoes bought as soon as I could reach those feet afterwards.
6. None of my pants fit. Aparently I was also growing children in my ass and thighs.
7. None of my shirts are long enough to cover the yucky gut. Or, if they are long enough, I can't get them on over my boobs.
8. Being home and raising my little lady is more important to me then money, so now we have none. ( see #5 above as proof)
9. I Get to spend every day in a lovely guilt-full cloud ( see #8 above)
THINGS THAT HAVE CHANGED IN HIS LIFE SINCE HE BECAME A DADDY:
I'm sure this isn't really accurate, but as i stated, i'm in a mood, so this is how it seems right now.
1. Wife puts out MUCH less.
2. Wife much larger size now.
3. Wife not contributing financially at all.
4. Occasionally woke up late at night by annoying crying sound.. nothing a pillow over head won't block out.
5. Wife now complains on silly BLOG
OK, I'm sure a positive list will be just around the corner.. but that's not the mood I'm in, so I'm passing the Bitchiness on....
I know I'll probably regret this post, but hell, I can always delete it later.
THIS IS THE PORTION OF MY BLOG ENTRY WHERE I ASK MY READERS TO WRITE SOME HUGE POSITIVE LOAD OF CRAP IN THE COMMENTS SECTION, WITH THE EXPRESS PURPOSE OF LYING TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER.
SOMETHING ALONG THE LINES OF:
" But Sabrina, you are looking SO thin, and Motherhood just makes you GLOW with beauty"
would be appropriate. OOH, and while you're at it, tell me I've won the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes... that would just make my day!