April 29, 2005

A Brief, Selfishly Bitter Moment.. ( we all get them)

**believe me, this is the edited version**

THINGS THAT HAVE CHANGED IN MY LIFE SINCE I BECAME A MOMMIE:
a list of negatives. I am in a bad mood right now. I am aware of the millions of good things, but i'm in a mood to complain. bear with me.

1. Body is SHOT. Seriously, my skin will never forgive me, and the ladies have plans to retire to the Belly Button Retirement Home

2. Um... well lets just say that fat ladies really aren't in the most "romantic" of moods most of the time.

3. Conversations that are one sided because the other person can't talk yet are now considered normal.

4. EVERYTHING that I do revolves around the little Dictator... when/what I eat or drink, when/if I sleep, and for how long, what I wear, where I go, how I get there, how long I stay, etc.

5. None of my shoes fit. Seriously, I wear my Water Socks from my maternigy water aerobics class to walk/jog because I have no sneakers that fit my now 7.5 feet.. only slip on shoes bought when huge pregnant, and winter shoes bought as soon as I could reach those feet afterwards.

6. None of my pants fit. Aparently I was also growing children in my ass and thighs.

7. None of my shirts are long enough to cover the yucky gut. Or, if they are long enough, I can't get them on over my boobs.

8. Being home and raising my little lady is more important to me then money, so now we have none. ( see #5 above as proof)

9. I Get to spend every day in a lovely guilt-full cloud ( see #8 above)

THINGS THAT HAVE CHANGED IN HIS LIFE SINCE HE BECAME A DADDY:
I'm sure this isn't really accurate, but as i stated, i'm in a mood, so this is how it seems right now.

1. Wife puts out MUCH less.

2. Wife much larger size now.

3. Wife not contributing financially at all.

4. Occasionally woke up late at night by annoying crying sound.. nothing a pillow over head won't block out.

5. Wife now complains on silly BLOG

____________________________________________________________

OK, I'm sure a positive list will be just around the corner.. but that's not the mood I'm in, so I'm passing the Bitchiness on....
I know I'll probably regret this post, but hell, I can always delete it later.
THIS IS THE PORTION OF MY BLOG ENTRY WHERE I ASK MY READERS TO WRITE SOME HUGE POSITIVE LOAD OF CRAP IN THE COMMENTS SECTION, WITH THE EXPRESS PURPOSE OF LYING TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER.
SOMETHING ALONG THE LINES OF:
" But Sabrina, you are looking SO thin, and Motherhood just makes you GLOW with beauty"
would be appropriate. OOH, and while you're at it, tell me I've won the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes... that would just make my day!

Our visit from Papa was a good one! Although... he looks like Grandpa Cooper with no face hair... GROW IT BACK, PAPA! Posted by Hello

She is so big now! just look at her.. sitting all on her own in her bath. WAY more fun then the bath seat! Posted by Hello

fun bath time.. note the thinning/bald area. No combover works. ;-( Posted by Hello

Te Hee! Funny Papa face in this pic from his visit.. but Raegan was so happy that I had to include it! Posted by Hello

She's channeling Jackie O Posted by Hello

Raegan in Papa's Hat! Posted by Hello

April 28, 2005

tantrum in effect

Well I'm going to have an absolute fit. There is something wrong with my stupid camera, and my pictures aren't all downloading right. Some of them have a streak accross the middle, or are completely blacked out, but when I view them on the camera they are just fine!! It's in the downloading that they get messed up. Darn it!!

Raegan took a bath today for the first time just sitting in the tub, not in a baby seat. The pictures are so cute! But I can't share them. Nor can I share the pictures taken while Papa was down visiting, as they refuse to download as well. Maybe I'll take the memory chip to Wal Mart and get them developed there? You'd think if they are perfect when viewed on the camera, then the error was in my computor when downloading?

Ugh.

I'll keep you posted.

Bath # 1 Posted by Hello

Bath 5 Posted by Hello

Bright out?.. Posted by Hello

For She's a Jolly Good Fellow.....

Today Raegan is 7 months old. 7 MONTHS. Can you BELEIVE it! She is growing SO fast! TOO QUICK!! How do I get her to slow down??


On an entirely different note, I am Very Much So sunburned. Red and crispy from the armpit up. I went for a long walk, got to gossiping with a buddy, and cooked the crap out of my skin. So today I'm all stingy and itchy. fun fun. BUT, I did go out for a drink last night with that same friend, and got HIT ON by a group of 50-something ( age, not number of participants) guys, so my confidence has been boosted sufficiently to withstand the stingy-itchiness of the burn. ( They called me RED) Heck, I may even go for another walk. Not often the fluffy-double-chin-dimpled-lady gets hit on, and while GLOWING on top, even. I'll take it as a sign that I MUST continue the workout. I just need to get Matt to start whistling and cat-calling when I'm on the treadmill, and maybe I'll walk further or something.

April 27, 2005

You're My little Choochie Face...

My Oochie Woochie Coochie little Choochie Face....... Every Time I Look At You I Smile....
( you know what I'm talkin' about)

I nuzzle her little neck and face, smooch smooch smooch her all over, and she giggles.... and grabs MY face ( or ear, or hair, or whatever she can get her little hand around) , opens her mouth WIDE, and squishes her face against mine, smooching me back. Big, Wet, Sloppy baby kisses. And I know she's smooching me ( and not hungry or something) , cuz she only does it when I've smooched her first.

And she smiles.


AAAH, motherhood. There's nothin' like it.

April 25, 2005

Today..

OH GOD..... THE HORROR... DECOMPOSING.... ROTTING .......YUCK.... FOUL..... ICKY.... PUTRID..... CREAMY......PEANUT BUTTER-ISH....... BLACK AND GREEN........ALL OVER........ DIRTY.....ON THE WALL....... ON HER FOOT........ OH! ON HER HAND...... ON MY ARM......... ALL OVER.......GOING TO PASS OUT..........

the joys of a food eating.. formula drinking babies diaper.

April 21, 2005

Where in the World is.......... Flappy's hideout

In response to many queries... Flappy lives on the left side, but you can't address her right now as she's grounded. Yep..I did some snooping in her " area" and found some illegal things..... Stretch Marks!!!! Damn her and her thin skin anyway! So she is not allowed any visitors until she apologises.

April 20, 2005

These are the Days...

So, it's a beautiful day. The sun is shining, and I got up and took a great walk this morning. So, I'm home, I'm showered, and I have decided to clean the house. I turn the music up, and get to cleanin'. Soon, I'm singing... and not far later, I'm dancing. This great techno song comes on, and I'm hopping all over the place, having a great time of it... Then I hear clapping.. I keep dancing... and I still hear clapping.

That's when I realized that my hooters were giving me a standing ovation.


Hmmmm...

Aparently they like Techno music too.

April 15, 2005

"the girl"

That would be Raegan, not my left breast. I know, you are disappointed... not to worry! I'm sure I will be discussing "the ladies" again some time soon.
So, I set my daughtor down on the floor, go get a glass of water, and find her on the other side of the room sucking on a shoe. She had rolled her way accross the room... quite a feat considering all the toys she had to roll over to get there! So, I picked her up to congratulate her on her accomplishment, and found out that rolling quickly accross the floor does the same thing to babies as it does to adults. She threw up all over me.

And that was the highlight of my day.

April 13, 2005

" the girls"

36 DD
( ok, if i'm being COMPLETELY honest, ONE side is a 36DD.. the other is just one D. I like to pretend otherwise, though, so please don't point and laugh when you see them enter the room in front of me, cuz the BIG one tends to get embarassed and hide in my armpit when laughed at.)

Wow, huh?

So, although flappy and pendulious, the ladies have not been disappointing in their size potential. Te Hee! What is this obsession with boobies?? I'm not quite sure myself. Maybe I focus on them to take attention away from the large spongy thing that lives under them. ( that would be my tummy, if you were curious). I have found that with the proper support system in place, the ladies can appear to be much less flappy then they are in real life.

Lets all take a moment now to be thankful for the invent of the underwire.

OK, that is sufficient homage. NO Matt, you can't thank them in person. No, you can't jiggle them in glee. You may admire from afar. Whistling is also appropriate.


Thank You

April 12, 2005

OK, so we're in the new place.....

It's a nice enough place. It is of a good size and all... and the walls are pretty sound-proof. Yep, Raegan can cry for quite a while before I'm really bothered by it. I know, that sounds aweful. But she has been in SUCH a POOPIE mood the last few days that I have decided that some times she really just WANTS to cry, and she is angry with me for trying to stop her, so WHO AM I to say she shouldn't cry? Being the good mommie that I am, then, I just let her cry all she wants. I'm sure if she didn't WANT to cry, she'd stop, right?
As a side note, you will be delighted to learn that pears, when digested, turn black. Now that's Interesting, isn't it?