So my little Raegan is three now. A big girl. She knows 3 fingers, she knows 3 years.. she knows three. Where, exactly, did this last year go? I find myself missing her when she's right in front of me. I miss the baby that was there, once. I miss her. Her cuddles, her neediness, her all-about-mama lifestyle. It is harder then I ever thought it would be to see her grow up, to grow away. She most definitely has her own opinions now. Her own views. She argues like a champ and stubbornly holds her own. Like her Mama, I guess. So I look at her and I miss the little her that I remember. Then, all of the sudden, SHE, the real Raegan, reaches up, grabs my cheeks and says;
"Mama, look in my EYE, OK? Listen? Look in my EYE!"
And there she is. The Raegan of now. Bossing her Mama around in such a perfect imitation of me that I can't help but love her all the more for being..... Her. The little three year old lady that I know and love. Do I miss the baby? Yes, I suppose I always will. But that "baby" is still there... all wrapped up in this self confident little girl in front of me, my cheeks in her hands. And it always will be.
I love you, Raegan.
Happy Birthday, honey.
The party was awesome..
Even though all the pictures didn't really come out....
We had less guests then anticipated, which turned out to be just perfect! There was plenty of food for everyone, and plenty of seats for eating it on. Raegan had a BLAST. First her Grammie came to visit her, then Aunt Davinie, Morgan & Payton, followed by Grandpa Pete, Mari and Uncle Milton, Grandma Karen and Poppy, Aunt Deanna, Dustin, Devin, Daniel and ONE week old Alissa, Uncle Jason, Aunt Kate & Cohen, Ashlynn, Rhylee and Leila. SO many kids for Raegan to play with! She both loved and hated being the center of attention. The party bags were a big hit, the snack foods were awesome, and the cake was actually pretty tasty, despite all that frosting ( which was, I'm assured by the children, the best part). We ate, opened presents, had cake, then played outside. The kids even managed to unearth a worm, the first Raegan has seen up close.. she didn't really want to HOLD it, but she was super curious about it, just the same. Really, I couldn't have asked for a better party.
I hate.. HATE hosting events. Hate it. I get all nervous and unsure.. which is odd, for me. When I know what I'm all about I have no problem being the one running the show... But when it comes to family events where there is orchestrating to do, opinions to consider.. bla bla bla.... I suck. Really, I do. So imagine my surprise when today went effortlessly! Seamlessly! It looked like everyone ate, had fun, visited, and overall enjoyed themselves at this here party. And! And! I didn't even NOTICE that I was the one running the show. It was just so comfortable! A huge breakthrough for me. I dreaded my wedding shower and baby shower.. and I didn't even RUN those, I was just the focus. But this one... went well. The house was large enough, clean enough, and happy enough. Things were planned and executed well... It all just fell right into place. Score one for Mama.