Drinkin' Music ( Kaels birth, part 1)

You know that feeling you get when you've had too much to drink? That must-concentrate-on-something-or-will-vomit kind of feeling? It could be concentrate on something like the spot on your jeans, or concentrate on a movement like frantic hand waving. Concentrate on something to take your mind away from the must-barf-now feeling you've caused yourself.

For me, it's loud techno music.

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I was up bright and early on the morning of Thursday, June 8th. I arrived at the hospital at 5:50 am ("You're early! That's always a good sign.") for my scheduled 6am induction. One quick check has me pronounced "3 cm dilated, nice and soft... You'll do well today!" and I was given a half dose of Cytotek as per doctors orders. ( for those not in the "know" Cytotek is used to help prepare the cervix for dilation, making it soft. I was soft when I got there.)
Four hours later (10:30) my doctor arrived to check and see if the ol' cervix had made any changes, or did we need more cytotek, or should we start pitocin. No cervical changes. BUT, still a 3, still soft.... Doc decides that instead of drugs, he'll break my water(A.R.M.) and see what my body decides to do on it's own. That was at 11:10 am.

OK, who likes the feeling of wetting your pants all the time? Not me.

Just thought I'd put that out there.

ANYWAY... I noticed a change immediately. The uncomfortable cramps/contractions I'd been having for weeks all the sudden found the candy jar and were coming fast and furious, "bouncing off the walls". Less then 10 minutes after the A.R.M., I was huffin' and puffin' through each contraction.... and they were coming 3 minutes apart, lasting 1-2 minutes each. Nice, regular, long contractions. 45 minutes of monitoring later I decided I needed to do something about all this... and the tub sounded like a good idea.

The Redmond birthing center has some nice, comfy, HUGE jetted birthing tubs. Matt got up at the first prompting and started filling up the monstrosity with some soothing hot water. While it filled, he brought me his MP3 player.

Prodegy, Lautsprecher, KMFDM, Moby, Paul Oakenfield............. Oh yeah.

My mind goes back to those drives home from the bar... Matt manning the steering wheel, sober. Me, lounged back in my seat, window down, eyes closed, foot thumping, radio blasting. I didn't get that drunk often, but when I did, it was always the same on the drive home. My blitzd mind was somehow able to focus on the beat..... Thump, Thump, Thump...... my stomping foot reminding me that I'm in the car and not spinning in circles like my head thinks I am.

I climb into the tub with much aid from my hubby.... sink down.... and turn up the music. Now it's just me, the contractions, and the MP3 player. The hot water makes it easier to relax in between. The jets blowing on my back and feet are that thumping reminder that I'm still here. I'm still here. Yes, it hurts, but I'm still here. The music is as loud as it's gonna get. I'm still here......

Half an hour into my soak it starts. I can't huff through them anymore. Huffs turn to moans. The relaxing break between gets shorter and shorter. I hear visitors in the room outside the door between songs. The all thought leaves again as I concentrate on relaxing my muscles, breathing, relax, breathe.. I'm still here...I call Matt in and ask him to go ahead and request that epidural.

I can't do it anymore.

My nurse comes into the bathroom 15 minutes later... she's informed my doc of my request and he'll put a call into the Bend hospital to get an anesthesiologist over and get me my epidural. OK... half hour. He'll be here in half an hour.

I spend another 10 minutes in the tub before deciding that this isn't working. They aren't manageable here. I need to get out.

The thumping in my ears is getting quieter. The music.... harder to "feel". I'm losing my concentration.. and all I can think about is the next contraction. My focus, once outside of me and in the music, in the thump of the beat.... has faded.

All of the sudden, my focus has changed.

I turn off the MP3 player.