July 01, 2005

The One Where I Get Angry and ask the Question, WHY? A message to "Anonymous"

"Anonymous said...
I'm sure you are very proud of your blog photo but perhaps using it to post comments on an infertility/miscarriage blog is a little less than considerate? "

Having had a brief struggle with infertility myself, I feel a deep sence of community with others in the same struggle. Sure, my struggle wasn't as long, and we got lucky. That didn't make the hurt, anger or heartache of hearing from doc that the odds of us makin' a baby were slim to none any easier to hear. That said, I spend a lot of my time on the net these days reading about others' struggle. I hope for them.. I want for them. I know what they feel. In a "Blog" community, bloggers open themselves up to a lot of positive and negative feedback. I want nothing more then to provide some type of positive for these people who have this ugly struggle in life. Now, you're telling me that I can stuff all my good intentions up my ass, as I have no right to be happy for myself and proud of the obsticle I have overcome? When that was ME, when I was the one struggilng with infertility, I would have taken the positive feedback and run. I would have ooh'd and ahh'd over a belly picture ( I was so envious!)
Yes, did you hear me, Anonymous? PROUD. Why is it that all you see is a negative reminder instead of a promise for the future? Even if ( and I wish this on no one) a baby is never grown in your belly, BELLIES are where the baby comes from. What do you want, exactly? the belly? Or is it the family that you crave? Because if it's the family, I can't see how you could get so upset that I got the belly with the family. It's just a picture of my hubby and I, and yes, it shows my belly. But it implies family no less strongly then, say, a wedding photo, or any photo of a loving couple.
That said, I think I will refrain from commenting on pre-baby blogs for the time being. I really only go to these blogs to be positive and supportive, not to be shot down because I was one of the lucky ones.

And just so you know, the photo attaches automatically when a blog requires login to post a comment.

Comment Away, I welcome the debate.


alyca said...

wow....where did you post?? I personally love that picture (but I guess you already knew that)

Mama-Beans said...

It was just one of these blogs I read. Sperm bank lost their sperm, and I was chiming in on anothers comment in support of legal action. A positive post for the blogger. They had it so that ID pictures were attaching to the comments, and there were several pics already there, with couples and families. She got upset because my family was still in the making in the photo... I take offense at her upset? Yeah, I guess that's it. Aparently I'm supposed to hide the fact that I have a chld. No, I guess I'm supposed to hide the fact that my child was once an infant, since they don't seem to get mad if there are todtler references, just infant. I guess all they want is the baby, not the child? I won't "bother" they amynore. ( isn't it nice that the support a person needs in a time like that is considered "bother" when the person offering the support does not have the same issue?)

Mama-Beans said...

See how my picture attaches even on my own blog? if you have to put in your password... that's what happens.