These hot days mired in Mama hood tend to lull me into laziness. It's just so EASY to wake each morning and step into my "Mom" shoes, taking them off only when it's time to crawl into bed. It's easy.
What's NOT easy is remembering that I'm more than just a Mom. I'm more than snotty noses and dirty diapers. More than sippy cups and butt-paste. More.
I find myself disappearing. Sucked into "Mama" and losing "Me". Oh, I reappear every now and then.. "I" come into focus occasionally. I find an issue that I'm passionate about. I find a theory that I believe in. Remember? Charity, circumcision, political views, vaccinations, and more recently surrogacy and Doula advocacy. I find an issue I believe in and there "I" am! Guns blazing, full force.
But then it gets easy. Easy to fade. To Relax. And just be Mama.
So. I'm working on it. Working on less disappearing, more reappearing. Goal is to reappear even when there isn't a huge issue to deal with. Reappear... then just be. Be both me, and Mama.
Goal #1:
Scrapbook one page a week. That is time spent doing something that isn't "mama" time.
Goal #2::
Finalize Doula certification. Focus on that. That is time spent doing something that I'm passionate about.
And that's it. Two little goals. Two little appearances that I hope to make more regular.
Because as much as I LOVE being a Mama;
I hate to disappear.
4 comments:
I think that your goals are great! I have to point out though that making the scrapbook pages are sorta about your kids so beware! You really need to get your doula certification because you are brilliant at it!
I fully understand how you feel, fully! It's not easy to remember who you are when you become a Mum, and not only that, I feel like sometimes I'm not really sure who this new version of me is! I used to identify strongly as a nurse, and now, not so much.
Love your goals, they are great.
One thing I did for myself was start the 101 things in 1001 days list, and each item on there is something which helps me remember who I am. Makes you feel good!
Franay, Scrapbooking I do for ME, not for them. Therein lies the difference.
I'll take a closer look at your 101 things, Kate! What a brilliant idea!
Word! :-)
My mom offered to babysit all day tomorrow so Rod and I could have a day just for us, and my first thought was "what would we do all day?" I can't believe it.
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