May 22, 2006

37 Weeks

Ugh.

Grumpy detailed complaining below. Be warned.

No sleep last night. Literally. Back ache, random contractions, headache, nausea, heartburn, and the lovely sensation that someone with a huge foot has kicked me in the lady parts. Nice.

Off to the doc today. Only 1cm dilated, soft, high. Ugh again, although that is how far I'd progressed after 2 days on pitocin with Rae, so it is something, at least. Cervix high, head low... how that's possible I'm not sure. Maybe the tipped uterus plays a part in this? His head is firmly butted against my pubic bone now.. Hence the kicked/bruised feeling.
Really, done now.
He prescribed some sleeping pills.. and that's it. I waited in that little room with the ridiculous paper dress on for 52 minutes. Yes, I kept track. He was in the room for 9 minutes and obviously in a hurry. See, usually I really like this doc, but today it kind of seemed like he was annoyed that I was even in there. It felt like he blew me and my concerns off completely. This is weird. Being pregnant with Raegan was so EASY! Being pregnant with Kael.... Honestly, I didn't know it could be this hard. But please, medical professional, don't make me feel like a whiny failure because I'm having a hard time dealing with this. Listen to me. Help me.
I'm not making up all of this stuff. I'm tired, just can't sleep. I feel weak. My headache actually makes the back of my head numb. I can't catch my breath. I'm light headed. I'm stressed.
My naughty bits HURT.
I am a piss poor parent to my daughter. I just can't deal with this body and it's complaints and her at the same time. I lose all patience and end up snapping at her for the littlest things. Then I hate my self for taking it out on her. I really think I would be a better mother to both of my children if I had my body back. My strength back. My energy back. My patience back. My sanity back. I think the hardest part is, it really could be 3 ( or more) weeks till this is over.
Three. More. Weeks.
He confirmed that I am in early labor.. but that could last weeks.. or hours. You never know.
He prescribes me sleeping pills. Says cheerfully "Only 3 weeks left!" as he saunters out the door.
I'm left sitting on that table, stupid paper dress wadded up around the giant butt-thigh, seeing spots, clutching a prescription for sleeping pills, crying.


3 weeks till due.

Ugh.

10 comments:

LifeIsGood said...

Keep in mind that not one man on earth has ever endured this thing called pregnancy and cannot even get remotely close to the feeling of having a wiggling infant trapped in your pelvis! Ok so they say that men can get close to the pain of labor with kidney stones. That still leaves out the wiggly kid and the passing a watermelon out your hoo ha part. I think they do see us as whiny toward the end but they cannot grasp what could be so wrong. Sorry. It is one of their imperfections! BUT.... You know that all your "girlfriend" are right there with ya baby and we are sorry that you are so uncomfortable and we wish we could make it better.
Think about this, although he is a pain in the pelvis right now he is still a lot less work and laundry than he will be in THREE WEEKS! You won't be sleeping then either. Of course you will get to look upon his little angelic face. Rae will get to see this thing that is making mommy grumpy and I guarantee she will not remember you being crabby before he was here.
You are in my prayers. It will all be over soon and it will all be worth it for the little miracle named Kael.
Oh and as far as this pregnancy with the little man as compared to Rae..... if it has tires or testicles... it's gonn a be a problem! :)

Davinie said...

I have already offered to take Raegan for you so you can have a nap and some relaxation, so boo on you if you don't want to take me up on it. That was yesterday... Today Steve is on shift, but I can still take her, you'll just have to drive her out here because it's too much of a pain to flip up that third seat to fit her carseat in the back of my Dingo. Anyway... offer still stands.

Davinie said...

I hope you slept better last night with the sleeping pills?

Amber said...

Have you thought about doing the stripping of the membranes at the doctor?? It's a painful procedure but it only lasts about 10 seconds and it's what started my labor with Zach. Within 4 hours of that procedure my labor was under way with Zach which I was thankful for! I feel for you though!

Mama-Beans said...

Davinie... I may just take you up on that offer one of these afternoons. I slept much better last night.. I went for a lengthly walk on the treadmill then took a nice hot bath before jumping into bed. No pills. I'm only gonna take them as a last resort, as Little Man gets a dose as well, and I'd rather avoid that. As for stripping of the membranes go.. you need to be dialated to at least a 2+ for that to be an option, and this doctor does not do induction tecniques at this stage. He will consider it near my 39th+ week. We'll play that hand when we get there. I'd be all for it if my body is ready!

Ms. Thinkin' Too Much said...

You and I share our due dates, and I relate SO completely to how you are feeling!

Let our babes come now!!!!

grandmabon said...

Oh Baby!!
I feel for you!
I know it seems like such a long time from now, but really, it IS right around the corner!!
Hang in there!
Take up Davinie's offer on watching, Reagan..
even if you don't nap.
Maybe you just need a break from every thing.
Be nice to Sabrina. Do some thing for your self.
I will donate the cost of a manicure and a hair cut!
Watch your mail!
Hang in there baby...
It will all be over soon.
Trust me........
Mom

Shana said...

Please, please, please take your friend up on the offer. You need a day of just lolling about and relaxing. Raegan will no doubt enjoy the excitement of doing something out of the ordinary for a day.

Hang in there, it's going to be over soon. I know it doesn't feel like it now. :-) Prodromal labor is HORRIBLE. If it continues, maybe you can get your doctor to take pity on you and do something to move you along? Like Amber said, stripping the membranes can help. What worked for me was an application of prostaglandin gel. Just something to think about.

jc_people said...

Oh, girl. I so feel your pain. These are the memories that you keep to yourself later on so you don't scare your friends with no children. Welcome to the club! Good to have you here!!

Well, kinda. Good and sympathetic, anyway.

In any case, poo on that dufus doc of yours! Kick that dude!

Will be praying for sleep for you, praying for peace for you and praying for a big bowl of goo-goo cluster ice cream.

Love ya!

twins and one more said...

I am so happy to have found your comments however painful as they are. I feel exactly the same as you and have the same due date..I am assuming ....
I am so ready and don't sleep either, but frequently find myself hourly rtunning to the little girls room...or to the kitchen for a snack...I am so hungry and sore and havbing contractions..hope i am dialated alittle..going to the docotor now too, but if history is a predictor my experience may be just like yours...