May 24, 2005

Flappy & Friend.. Life in a Shrinking World

Alas, I knew this time would come, but I'm fighting tooth and nail to extend it.
My baby Rae is weaning herself.
I NEVER thought I would have an attachment to breastfeeding. In fact, I always saw myself as a bottle mama. But, Raegan isn't the cuddliest of bambinos, and the only time I can count on getting a snuggle with her is when she's breastfeeding. Apparently the view of my armpit isn't as stimulating to her as she thought it would be, so she's demanding more and more to have her dinner in a Playtex, thankyouverymuch. As of today, the only time I can count on is her EARLY morning breakfast. She wakes around 5 and I get in a good cuddle-meal, and she goes off to sleep again for another 2.5 hours. She will only share a bed time snack with me if she's REALLY tired. ( I will guiltily admit to keeping her up late some times just so I get that cuddle. Manipulative, I know.)
I had NO idea when I started this that her " rejection " would hurt so much.
Yes, I know, I know, this isn't a rejection. She's growing up, noticing her surroundings, and like a good sponge she wants to soak it all up, and that's hard to do when Mama is smothering her to her chest blocking the view.
Next week I go in to the WIC office, and they are setting me up with a hospital grade breast pump to see if we can at least get good food in her tummy. It is a dim hope, as so far all attempts to pump have been failures. I just can't relax enough.
It may be too late, anyway.
The ladies are taking a hiatus. Many of my bras are now a little baggy. Both of my breasts are now a little saggy. And all of that formula is a little gaggy! ( Although licking it up off the floor makes Lola's tail pretty waggy)
OK, enough of that. Nothing else has "aggy" on the end of it, anyway.
So, I'm seeing an end to this stage in Motherhood. It seems so weird to be saying that. I feel like she is still so new!
But, I'm seeing a beginning to many other great stages.
So, I'll flop the ladies back in some pre-preg pretties, maybe reward them with something new and lacy to live in, and go on with my life. I'd better.. Raegan is getting ahead of me....


Davinie said...

Yes, mama, it's time to move on. It's not good to MAKE your child dependent. You don't want her to rebel and want nothing to do with you. Relax and maybe she will to. As will the girls, maybe. But yes, waiting until your daughter is almost 8 months old before you try and pump it up is not good. Let her grow up. Think about how lucky you are that it lasted this long. Many are not. Plus, you don't want your tata's to stretch out too much, for when the milk is gone and they return to their former home, you don't want them to find that it isn't as cozy as before, (where did that bonus room come from?) and have no furniture to fill the extra space. Hence, rocks in socks.

Mama-Beans said...

Rocks in socks.... I giggle. I'm already developing a tube-sock similarity.

Yes, I must let her grow to be her own lady. If she wants her bottle, then she gets one! Hard to do, but I guess that's what being a parent is all about, isn't it? Doing everyhting you can to make your sweet little baby become a strong independent, self-sufficient adult. It starts here, I guess.
It is neat to see her grow. She can hold her bottle all by herself now. It is so great to watch her learn about herself! I love seeing her tiny little hands holding that bottle, figuring out the best way to hold it and tip it up so she can take a sip. "Watch me Grow!" she says. And watch, I will.