Alas, I knew this time would come, but I'm fighting tooth and nail to extend it.
My baby Rae is weaning herself.
I NEVER thought I would have an attachment to breastfeeding. In fact, I always saw myself as a bottle mama. But, Raegan isn't the cuddliest of bambinos, and the only time I can count on getting a snuggle with her is when she's breastfeeding. Apparently the view of my armpit isn't as stimulating to her as she thought it would be, so she's demanding more and more to have her dinner in a Playtex, thankyouverymuch. As of today, the only time I can count on is her EARLY morning breakfast. She wakes around 5 and I get in a good cuddle-meal, and she goes off to sleep again for another 2.5 hours. She will only share a bed time snack with me if she's REALLY tired. ( I will guiltily admit to keeping her up late some times just so I get that cuddle. Manipulative, I know.)
I had NO idea when I started this that her " rejection " would hurt so much.
Yes, I know, I know, this isn't a rejection. She's growing up, noticing her surroundings, and like a good sponge she wants to soak it all up, and that's hard to do when Mama is smothering her to her chest blocking the view.
Next week I go in to the WIC office, and they are setting me up with a hospital grade breast pump to see if we can at least get good food in her tummy. It is a dim hope, as so far all attempts to pump have been failures. I just can't relax enough.
It may be too late, anyway.
The ladies are taking a hiatus. Many of my bras are now a little baggy. Both of my breasts are now a little saggy. And all of that formula is a little gaggy! ( Although licking it up off the floor makes Lola's tail pretty waggy)
OK, enough of that. Nothing else has "aggy" on the end of it, anyway.
So, I'm seeing an end to this stage in Motherhood. It seems so weird to be saying that. I feel like she is still so new!
But, I'm seeing a beginning to many other great stages.
So, I'll flop the ladies back in some pre-preg pretties, maybe reward them with something new and lacy to live in, and go on with my life. I'd better.. Raegan is getting ahead of me....